Knickerbitch and the Biker Dude

You recall my post about Knickerbitch and the knickerditch in Lethbridge a few days ago. If you recall that, you may recall that I said I knew Louise (aka Knickerbitch) from Shannon's parties. However, there was another time that I met Louise before the Lethbridge fiasco. A time I earlier thought to be after Lethbridge, but in fact it was before. And that time was on a trip to Wayne, Alberta.

Wayne is an old mining town that is essentially a ghost town now. It consists of the remains of several sites of old buildings (some sites cleared out of debris and others still littered with it), a few homes that are still lived in, and the Rosedeer Hotel for passersby to have a place to stay. Here's some information on Wayne, if you are interested:

Wayne Alberta - Ghost Town

Anyway, the first time I visited Wayne was with Shannon and Knickerbitch. It was expected to be a fun-filled overnight trip to a scary ghost town. And for the most part, the place delivered. The drive down to Wayne was pretty enjoyable and everyone got along. After all, who wouldn't get along with me? I'm very personable. 

Upon arrival in Wayne, we immediately ran into the Rosedeer hotel to get a room. We had to wait a while in the lobby for someone to come, but no one did. We entered the lounge and found the proprietor of the hotel. He was polite and checked us in. On the way upstairs to our room, he told us a story about a ghost in the hotel and how the ghost was his friend. He also, however, mentioned that the ghost once pushed him down the stairs. Okay. Gotcha, crazy guy! You may go now. 

As he left us to our room, he told us that there was an old miner's graveyard located at the top of one of the coolies. Exciting!

The room was...creepy. Faux wood paneling enveloped the room and a dingy brown carpet snuggled our feet. There was a double bed and a single bed in the room. I decided to take the single just to ensure no accidental feel-copping occurred in the overnight hours.  Floorboards creaked under our weight as the hotel was quite old. The second floor was the only floor to have rooms for rent. The lower level was the lounge and kitchen, and the third floor was the owner’s personal space. An unnerving door led to the third floor that was padlocked so we could not see what was up there. The hallway had an eerie red glow from the emergency exit light at the end. 

First things first, we visited the lounge. The lounge had a certain creepy charm, with an old band box in the corner and bullet holes still riddling the walls. We did not stay to have drinks as we were far too eager to visit the graveyard. 

We walked up the coolie and explored along the edge, trying to find the graveyard. Eventually we came across it and all I can say is WOW. This place was like something out of a cliché horror film. It wasn't filled with organized rows of grave markers. It was, after all, from the early twentieth century. I believe the newest grave was from 1913. The grass had grown quite long and some trees were creeping out of control through the graveyard. A barbed wire fence surrounded the grounds. Old cracked grave markers hinted at those who were buried beneath for the most part, but there were also several graves marked only with rotting wood crosses. Some graves were sinking in and the old wooden grave liners were now exposed. Some markers were difficult or impossible to read the names. Others damaged or stolen by other tourists. It was quite the place. 

However, this blog entry is not centered on what we saw there that day. The entry is about Knickerbitch and her insanity. Let's move ahead. 

Later in the evening, we all decided to visit the lounge. We got some drinks and talked amongst ourselves. While we were there, a gentleman came in and sat with us. He was greasy. Yes, so greasy. His hair was dark, combed back, and greasy. He had a cliché biker jacket on and his teeth were yellowed and just all over his mouth. That being said, he seemed to be a nice person. A stranger wandering the night, we allowed him to join us for a drink. 

I don't really recall much about the chap, but that's because Knickerbitch and the biker dude ended up dominating the conversation...mainly talking to each other while Shannon and I listened. 

Last call came slowly and when it did, we decided to head up to the room. Biker dude had his own room but couldn't get enough of Louise. Knickerbitch and the biker dude talked about his motorcycle and cars (remember that Knickerbitch was a tomboy) and then he invited Knickerbitch outside to see the bike. 

A few minutes later, Knickerbitch and the biker dude return to the room. Biker dude started telling Knickerbitch that he thought the sunrise would be beautiful when witnessed from the top of one of the coolies (near the graveyard of which I spoke). Yes, it was an obvious line to try and get her alone. It worked. Sort of. 

I didn't know Knickerbitch that well, but she seemed like a nice person. Sure, she seemed naive and perhaps lonely, so biker dude's invite was likely very tempting to her. Biker dude asked Louise if she would like to go for a walk and then watch the sun rise. She said yes and so they prepared to leave. But I wasn't having it. This stranger might be anything from a rapist to a murderer. Knickerbitch needed backup. I boldly stated that I would come along too as I wasn't tired. I'm sure they were both pissed off as they could be with me, but that wasn't going to change anything. 

We walked. Walked, walked, walked, Walked for hours. Up to the end of the road and back. Up to the top of the coolie, all around the edge, through a farmer's field, to the graveyard, up down and around the area. Biker dude and Knickerbitch seemed to be hitting it off. I was quiet for the most part as I wasn't attempting to stop the magic that was happening. I just didn't want him to kill her. 

We left at about 2:30AM and returned at nearly 5:00AM. I was tired and so were they. As I stumbled into my bed, trying not to wake Shannon in the next bed, Knickerbitch announced that she was going to let biker dude take her for a ride on his motorcycle. I told her it was a terrible idea but she wouldn't listen. She never listened. So whatever. Fuck it. If she was going to be irresponsible, then I couldn't stop her. I went to sleep while Knickerbitch was sped off on the back of biker dude's cycle. 

About twenty minutes later, she returned and crept into bed with Shannon.

It was not long after that when I heard the floorboards cracking and creaking. I sat up, expecting to see Shannon or Knickerbitch working their way to the door. However, no one was there. Crack. Creak. No one. I'm not saying it's a ghost. There are a lot of explanations for what it could be, but the sound was coming from the floor IN the room. That's all I'm saying about that.

The next morning, Knickerbitch woke us up at about 9AM. We had plans to explore more of Wayne and then check out some sites in Drumheller. However, Knickerbitch said that she wasn't feeling well and wanted to go home. 

Translation: "I'm homesick and want to go home." 

There was no debate. She became irritable and bitched about any delay. So we left early. I should have learned about Knickerbitch and her inability to stay away from her family for more than twelve hours, and I paid the price in Lethbridge later that year. 

Knickerbitch refused to talk about biker dude on the drive back home. I'm not sure what happened, but I'm willing to bet it was something naughty. Did biker dude get what he wanted from Louise and then dump her back at the hotel before leaving on his way? Who knows. Whatever did happen, she's lucky that things weren't a lot worse. 

So that's the story of Knickerbitch and the biker dude. It's not a funny story but it is entertaining. The choices people will make in the heat of loneliness or naivety never ceases to amaze me. Let's just hope the rest of you have more self-respect than to settle for a greasy guy named biker dude.

Knickerbitch

When it comes to human behaviours, very little shocks me. Through excuses such as religion or politics, there can be some utterly shameful behaviour in this world, but I'm rarely surprised. And the emotionally driven exploits of the insecure and damaged around me also are unlikely to phase me. But once in a while, someone will do something so out-of-the-blue and bizarre that I have to pick my jaw up from the floor.

One such time was about eight years ago. When it comes to leaps of nearly a decade, you'll forgive my inability to pinpoint a date. Shannon lived in Lethbridge at this time as she was attending the UofL. Over a long weekend, Shannon convinced me to come for a visit. I hate driving and always have, but all was right in the world because Shannon's other friend Louise was planning to drive down as well. Score! Lethbridge wasn't exactly a tourist hotspot, and this was in November so the weather wasn't the greatest, but I figured why the hell not? From Friday evening to Monday evening (or Tuesday morning), we'd make the best of it!

Louise was a nice person. I'd met her only once or twice before at one of Shannon's parties. Louise was quiet, a tomboy, and didn't have a lot of luck with the boys. She was also a ginger. Louise drove this big ancient truck that I believe was once a fire station pump truck. There were rivet holes (filled in) on the roof from where emergency lights may have rested on top, and of course Louise told me that it was once a pump truck. This thing was as hard on the ears as it was on the eyes. When she pushed the gas, the behemoth sounded like a large aircraft taking off. The truck vibrated and moaned as it got to speed as well. But she loved that truck so I didn't make fun.

At any rate, the drive down to Lethbridge was fun with Louise, even though I didn't think we'd get along. When we found Shannon's place, it was a big super-happy fun reunion and all was going well. It was pretty late when we got to Lethbridge, so we just hung out at Shannon's place until we crashed. On the Saturday, we all slept in and then took a trip to "downtown" Lethbridge just to see what we could see. By this time, Louise seemed to be a little frustrated with something, though neither Shannon nor I knew what the problem was.

In the evening, Shannon wanted to go out to a "club" in Lethbridge. Slim pickings, that was for sure. I was down for it but Louise said that she wasn't feeling well and decided to stay at the house.

*Interesting sidebar - The next time I went to Lethbridge, when Shannon and I decided to go to the club again, Shawna and Shannon's brother Darren (with whom I went to visit Shannon) said they both didn't feel well. Shannon and I returned home early to catch Shawna and Darren feeling each other up in sleeping bags on the floor. Awww, young lust. But seriously, everyone please stop using "not feeling well" in place of your real feelings. Thanks!*

Shannon and I returned to the house pretty late and Louise was asleep. Louise woke up and told us that she missed her family (thus why she didn't want to come out with us in the evening). A little case of homesickness. Happens to the best of us. We all talked for a while and then crashed for night #2.

Around 8AM Sunday morning, Louise wakes me up and tells me that I have to get ready RIGHT now. Shocked and confused, I of course inquire as to the urgency. Louise says there's a snowstorm outside and she doesn't want to get caught in it. Louise called her parents while I'm still trying to snap out of the groggy state I was in. I distinctly remember the phone call because I could hear her mother through the earpiece from where I was sitting. Louise explained to her mother that she was going to head home early because of the snowstorm. Her mother said to Louise to STAY in Lethbridge because the roads were terrible and Louise could travel back the following day when everything died down. Louise argued for a short time but then it seemed she had lost. She got off the phone.

Louise then walked over to me and said to my face that her mother thought it was best that Louise and I head back NOW! What? I said I heard her mom talking and that wasn't what her mom said, but Louise denied it as she ran around getting all her possessions packed up. I went and looked out the window. The snow was falling really heavily and any idiot knew it was a dumbass idea to leave in that weather. Well, not ANY idiot. An idiot who was suffering the sort of extreme home sickness that Louise was suffering would make the poor judgment call...

Packed up, Louise gave me the "last chance" ultimatum, as she was leaving. I had not showered and was still half asleep so I said I couldn't just travel the way I was. Louise then began to cry a bit and said she couldn't wait. The last thing Louise said before leaving the home was "Dave, please don't hate me."

And with that, Louise abandoned me a couple of hundred kilometers from home. Shannon and I were both in utter disbelief that this woman just left me in Lethbridge like that. Even if one overlooks the fact that she chose to alter plans selfishly two days early, to not even wait an hour so I could get ready to leave was mind-blowing. And WTF? How the hell was I supposed to get home?

I tried to put it out of my mind and enjoy the rest of my stay in Lethbridge. Sunday evening I went to visit The Girl From The Rock Show (stay tuned for that entry). It was nice to see her again and we had fun. However, it started to become clear that I was not going to make it back to Airdrie in time for work on Tuesday if I didn't have a plan. Sunday night, Shannon and I checked the Greyhound schedule for the best times to ensure I return on time. OF COURSE the only opportunity was bright and early Monday morning. Motherf***! Shannon and I chilled Sunday night (aka I helped fix her computer) and then went to bed. I remember her living room floor as being uncomfortable. I should have got a better sleeping bag for my future visits.

Anyway, Monday morning came and Shannon kindly gave me a ride to the Greyhound station, a drive that was white-knuckling for Shannon at the very least. I got my ticket and Shannon waited with me until it was time to leave. Then, I was off...aboard the Greyhound death trap. It was a ridiculously long time to get back to Airdrie, made possible by stops at EVERY possible location and a layover at the Greyhound Station in Calgary. Then when I got back to Airdrie, I had to track down someone to give me a lift home as it was -30 and I was a few kilometers from home. Fortunately I was able to get my Meadowbrook Deliveries boss Trevor (stay tuned again) to give me a lift. Unfortunately, as "payment" for his help, he managed to convince me to work Monday evening.

What could have been a super weekend away turned out to be a serviceable half-weekend of fun. And all thanks to Louise...The Knickerbitch. Wondering where that nickname came from? Keep your eyes peeled on my blog!

As for the Greyhound bus trip...sure it was long, boring, and uncomfortable. But it certainly wasn't something to lose my head over...