Thursday, February 24, 2011

Online Dating Disasters 1

Online dating has become shockingly accepted as a method of meeting other people over the last decade. I recall, in 2002, doing some research about the behaviours of men and women in adult chat rooms, and I clearly remember that online dating was considered especially taboo...something that only losers and social outcasts did. But today, it seems like just about everyone has gone on dates with someone from the internet. I'm forever hearing stories about people who my friends have met from the world wide web. Sadly, the majority of those stories aren't positive experiences.
Recently, I thought it might be fun to invite friends to share some of their experiences in the online dating arena. Several of my female friends said they would be happy to provide me a blurb about something bad or hilarious that happened to them as a result of online dating. Sadly, after about a month of waiting on people to submit their stories, only three people have come through. Better three stories than no stories though. Without further adieu, I present three tales of online dating. These are not written by me, and were copied and pasted, so I apologize for any formatting errors. If a story feels too long, just scroll down to the next and don't complain to me about it! Enjoy!:

1.    I have so many stories I could tell about my worst or funniest experience in meeting men from the internet.  I have met my fair share, let me tell you.
I had talked to this one guy a month or so and we exchanged pictures and what not.  All his pics were of him outside in the sun and he was always wearing sunglasses. I didn’t think anything of it at the time.
We met up one night at a Tim Hortons for the first time.  I walked in, grabbed a coffee, and saw a few people sitting there alone.  I looked around and he stood up. I was a little taken back when he stood because he really didn’t look like his pictures. When I got to the table, I looked closer at him. It turned out the guy was cross-eyed. AWESOME!!!
I didn’t know where to look. I couldn’t look him in the eyes for the whole hour and a half that I was there with him. Maybe it makes me superficial, but I mean at least be honest about it instead of putting someone in that situation without letting them know.  That was the last time I saw the guy…one of the funniest experiences I’ve had in online dating.

2.     The second entry was from a woman with borderline personality disorder. We were online buddies for a while. However, she became furious with me because I did not wish to date her or have any romantic involvement with her (she lives in Jasper, AB, which is ridiculously far away from me and she is mentally unstable) and she completely LOST her mind. She flipped out, made threats that weren't threatening to me, and went off in some nutter rant before swearing to never talk to me again. All I was thinking was "good riddance."
Anyway, the freak filed a copyright complaint about this entry because she wanted her contribution removed (I suppose just asking politely was not something someone so unstable could do). She provided this information voluntarily and thus gave me permission to post it, and her intellectual property has no copyright, so I was not actually in breech of anything whatsoever. Too bad, so sad. I could fight this by filing a counter claim, and I'm pretty sure I'd win, but this chick is legitimately crazy and will certainly just keep filing new claims. She's mentally ill, childish, and craves the drama. Therefore I'd keep having to battle over something so thanks. Besides, her story was actually boring as balls, so I'm happy to see it go. But she "wins" and her "copyright" story is being taken down from Blogspot. She can now sleep at night.
For the sake of completion, the story revolved around a her meeting some dude who she, after having too much to drink with him, went back home with and completely led on. Then, after getting him all hot and bothered, she pulled a block move. She has the right to do that, but from the tone of the story it's almost as though that was her goal, which is a really cruel thing to do. At any rate, he became an unreasonable dick about it. She overreacted, he overreacted, and the story was just a dragging tale about her adventure in leaving this guy's house. Yay. Enjoy the other dating stories I posted. They're funny at least.

3.        I never really dated anyone I met online. Perhaps this incident turned me off of the whole idea. I was 18 at the time.  The first message I ever received from (name witheld) was one asking me for my bra size. I should have known right then to not bother replying, but I was still pretty new to the whole online chat thing and so I replied. Not with my bra size, but something like what? or why? I can't recall how the conversation went from there but it evolved into a pretty normal conversation. We talked about our likes/dislikes,  what we did for fun, etc. Eventually we did meet in real life, only briefly tho because I was on my way into Cowboys to see some naked dudes dance around. So we continued our friendship for a few more months only online until around my 19th birthday. I was having a pretty good sized party and figured I would invite him since I considered him a pretty good friend, with potential for more and we had never really hung out so far. So he comes to my party and brings a virgin friend of his. The point of him being a virgin will be told soon in my story. So we drink, we have fun, and do all the other fun party things. It's my party so I'm cruising around making sure I socialize with everyone. At one point, I notice he's not with his friend, so I go talk to him and ask where his friend is. "I think he's talking to your sister somewhere" Well, that's not good. So ok, whatever, by this time I'm pretty drunk and starting to get touchy feely with pretty much anyone. At the time I was off again with my now-husband, so whatever. He was at the party, sorta, if you call holing up in the basement playing computer games being at the party.  So he sees me being flirty with people and naturally wants to be on again. So ugh, not what I want to deal with at my party but I try to talk to him just enough to keep him happy til Im not drunk anymore. So, next day comes. It was a Saturday. When (name witheld) gets home, he calls (or maybe it was online) and asks if I wanna be more than just friends. I say, look, I gotta think this over, cuz my on-off bf wants me back and it's just all too much for now. I say, Im staying at my friend's tonight. I'll give all of this a lot of thought and call you tomorrow night from work.
So, I give it thought, decide why not give this a little go and see what happens. I didnt have a cell phone yet so all my phone numbers were in a book in my bedroom. I call home and ask my mom if I can talk to my sister. I wanted her to go in my room and get his number so I could call him. My mom tells me that my sister isn't home. (Name witheld) had picked her up about an hour before I called. Uh what? (Side note: His virgin friend wasn't a virgin anymore when he was done "talking" to my sister at my party) I get his number from my mom and leave him a nice message about how if they were up to what I think they were up to, I was gonna bust some heads. They ended up dating for about a week. And yes, they slept together. His reason for calling her? He found about my sister and his friend and figured why not try his luck with her too. He would come take her out every couple months I think just to make me jealous? Yes, so jealous. I'm jealous of the burning you feel when you pee.  Him and I are still friends, but only online, and I still remind him why I can never be with him. So I wouldn\t call this a bad online dating experience, but perhaps a near-miss. 

There you go! Three stories about the pains of online dating. As more stories are given to me, I will post them to share with everyone. Partially for the sake of entertainment and partially as a warning as to what you all can expect to happen when you take the online dating plunge. See you next time!

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