Thursday, March 22, 2012

Dave's a Dick (11 of ?)

From: Kijiji Reply (from ml) <>
Sent: Thursday, March 21, 2012 4:36:19 PM
Subject: Reply to your "Marvel Legends 2012 - Hope Summers, Iron Man, Constrictor" Ad on Kijiji

Hello! The following is a reply to your "Marvel Legends 2012 - Hope Summers, Iron Man, Constrictor" Ad on Kijiji: 
you're kidding right?these are not even rare items and on tru's they are selling these for 15 bucks.good luck man. 

Date: Wed, 21 Mar 2012 19:19:03 -0700
Subject: Re: Reply to your "Marvel Legends 2012 - Hope Summers, Iron Man, Constrictor" Ad on Kijiji
To: *******
Dear Nameless Moron,

Thank you for your pointless email. It always warms my heart to know that there are people like you in the world who will waste their precious time in writing ineffectual emails to others in an attempt to boast your intellectual superiority by telling them "how it is." Much like I am doing to you now. The difference between us, however, is I clearly am educated and you are a nitwit.
As a matter of fact, I am not kidding about this listing. When I'm kidding, the end result is something humourous...much like how I would be kidding if I said I enjoy underwater basket-weaving while having my leg humped by a condescending little prick such as yourself. 
You see, I did not purchase these from tru (I believe you meant to type it as T.R.U. since it's used as an acronym for Toys R Us, but your mastery of the English language is clearly sub-par so I'll overlook it). I purchased these from a brick and mortar collectibles store in the city. Each was $24.99, because such stores need to increase the sticker price in order to make a profit. If you grab a calculator (since you're almost certainly too simpleminded to do math in your head) and add 5% G.S.T. to that price, you'll discover that I indeed paid over the $25 asking price for each.
Now, as for the second part of your "argument," these are not rare in that they are new, but with issues of distribution they are currently uncommon in our area. If Toys R Us does have them, then perhaps your time would have been better spent riding your bicycle (I assume with training wheels since your email appears to have been written by a child) to the nearest T.R.U. and purchasing them there. If they are being sold for $15 (which is far below the R.S.P. [that means Recommended Selling Price...I figured I should tell you since you're a complete tool]), then you'd best buy them up before T.R.U. realizes their mistake. That being said, I highly doubt that they are available at that price, and if they are, I highly doubt any of the stores have any in stock.
Before I continue, I would like to correct your email. The grammar is just so awful!
"You're kidding, right? These [figures] are not even rare items, and T.R.U. is selling them for $15 each. Good luck, man."

Here's what your email really meant:

"Hi, I'm a smeghead. I saw your advertizement on Kijiji. I wanted to send you an email to ask if your price is a joke. I noticed your price is far above the [possibly] less expensive Toys R Us price of $15. Good luck selling yours at a higher price. I'm secretly attracted to men and don't now how to deal with my homosexual fantasies due to my homophobia, so I'm lashing out. I'm sorry. Love abcdefg."

In conclusion, your silly little email was as futile as it was laughable. It's also a good example of why you should perhaps get a few details straight before you try and tell someone off. Actually, it would also probably be good for you to just keep your proverbial mouth shut because nothing that comes out of it is of any value...except maybe when your teeth fall out and you can get a quarter each from the Tooth Fairy. That's my two cents, and unlike yours, it hold some merit! You're welcome.



P.S. I'm sorry you are feeling so butt-hurt (as my friend likes to say) about seeing some toys you wanted in my listing but cannot afford them. Perhaps if you get a job instead of writing stupid emails and masturbating to scrambled porn, you can afford them. Douche.
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