Thursday, March 17, 2011

Cause I Gotta Eat Too, Riding Hood!

I wrote this in one of my creative writing courses. The point of this poem was to tell a well-known story from the point of view of a different character. So I chose Little Red Riding Hood and decided to write from the point of view of the wolf rather than that silly bitch in red. Enjoy. Or don't enjoy. Couldn't care less! 

‘Cause I Gotta’ Eat Too, Riding Hood!

From a forest barren of food
I was happy to see the girl in red
Skipping along with a basket of goodies
To feed a sickly old wench

For a predator I was polite to say
“A biscuit for a hungry wolf?”
But she stuck out a little red tongue
Every time, skipping merrily away

I wanted only a nibble of bread
And she wouldn’t offer a crumb
So trickiness came into play
To grandmother’s house I would go

Grandmother was old but I gobbled her up
Though tough and stringy she would be
I put on grandmother’s bonnet and gown
So to trick the little red riding hood

“What big eyes you have” said she
As she came through grandmother’s door
“The better to see you with” quickly said I
Hidden slightly by all the covers

“What big ears you have” she grinned
Making me anxious a little bitty bit
 So I spoke “The better to hear you with”
And she seemed satisfied with that

“What big teeth you have” she screeched
While I licked my chops and jumped at her
“The better to EAT you with” I growled,
Feeling very clever with my reply

I gobbled the girl up hood and all,
Not to mention the basket of bread
Tender and warm. It made me full
So I patted my tummy over and over

That’s when the door feel down
At the hands of that darn woodsman
Who chopped me in half with an axe
That let grandmother and riding hood fall out

Now that girl and her grandmother love
To step all over me as they go
Across the living room for a drink
Because I’m just a rug on the floor

But hear this little red riding hood
Oh and this goes for grandmother too
If I ever get feeling in my mouth again
I’ll gobble you both up whole!

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