Thursday, August 12, 2010

How Much is that Pervert in the Window?

All right, I know I'm banging these posts out pretty quickly. But I have a lot to say and I tend to get bored of things quickly. Therefore, the more I pump out, the more you'll get to read before I am tired of blogging and quit for a year.

This little event occurred back in my pizza delivery days. It was one of the rare days that I was driving around delivering on my own, as I usually liked to have company. I had a rather late-night delivery (it was shortly after midnight) and Little Caesar's Pizza was closing. However, the chap making the order was very charming to Crystal, the only employee working at close. The gentleman also promised to tip well for the inconvenience, so I decided to stay and take his delivery to him.

Crystal fired the pizza and breadsticks through the oven very quickly and I packed up the goods and I was on my way. When I arrived at the dude's house, I noticed, through the large front bay window, that there was a man sitting in front of what appeared to be a computer screen in the dark. He was not wearing a shirt.

I took the order from my trunk and walked it to the door. When I rang the doorbell, I heard some commotion going on inside but no one came to the door. I knocked. I rang. I knocked. I rang. After about three minutes, the door opened. A man in his late thirties answered the door. He had shoulder length brown hair and wore sensible glasses. What was unusual was the fact that he was wearing a towel around his waist and nothing else visible.

Then came the funny bit. He says to me "Sorry about that...I was just in the shower." A reasonable excuse if not for the fact that he was completely dry. Now I'm no hairdryer expert, but I think it would take longer than three minutes to dry shoulder length hair and manage to answer the door. Also, I saw him sitting at the computer moments beforehand.

The prick tipped me shit...I think it was the change of a dollar, so like 3%. So I smiled. I thanked him. And then I casually notified him that people could see him and his porn from the road outside. He said nothing as he closed the door, though his expression clearly showed some shock...or maybe that's guilt? Either way, as I got into my vehicle I noticed him in the window, turning off the monitor.

Some people REALLY need some curtains.

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