Wednesday, August 25, 2010

My Night at Wal-Mart

I went out this evening with Perry in order for him to scramble together a costume for the Fan Expo that he plans to attend in Toronto this weekend. He and his boyfriend are both planning to dress up and while Perry's costume was complete, he had to get one put together for his boyfriend. Perry decided to piece together a Riddler costume for his boyfriend and needed me to help with ideas.

Anyway, at about 11:00PM, we made the obligatory stop at Wal-Mart, since everything else was closed. While looking for some green tape, I came across a red pocketbook sitting on one of the shelves. Picking it up, I noticed that there were several $20 bills tucked within and perhaps more hidden below. Perry and I decided the best course of action was to turn the pocketbook in to customer service, though we did joke about how our purchases could all be paid for if we took a "reward" cut of the cash before turning it in. Rest assured, ladies and gentlemen, that we both have a conscience (not to mention that I always do the right thing to a fault).

We took the pocketbook to customer service and the CSM paged the woman. Perry and I decided not to wait at the counter, even though there was a strong likelihood that one of the employees could steal the cash.

As Perry and I were walking back to the section with window treatments (where Perry eventually bought a $50 curtain rod because the end was shaped like a question mark and thus could work as the Riddler's cane...yep, $50!) we saw this white-trash whiskey-tango couple storming down the main aisle. The couple were screaming at each other. The man, shaved bald, with tattoos, a wife beater, and jammer shorts yelled something nearly incoherent but clearly rude to the woman and then stormed off toward the back of the store. The woman, screaming equally incoherently, continued stomping to the front. She was yelling how they could not go until she found "it."

Perry ran over and asked her if she was Crystal (as we looked at the ID in the pocketbook). She said emphatically "YES" and Perry told her that we turned in her pocketbook. She ran over ecstatically and hugged Perry. She then ran off to customer service while yelling "thank god for honest people!"

Perry felt violated but happy that Crystal was relieved her money and identification were safe. But why did she feel a need to hug him? And what do you think he caught from the contact? I don't know, but I hope it was worth it.

And was the loss of her pocketbook really worth the scene they caused? Perry and I discussed the chance that Crystal will receive a beating at home later because she caused said scene...will he use his ring hand or a broom handle? These are the questions we have to ask ourselves!

Oh, and I saw an obese woman carrying around a human head. That was cool.

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